Each day continues to be a challenge to stay focused and productive. I have times when I'm relatively OK and rationally accepting the fact of Joyce's death. Then, in an instant, I find myself incredulous that she's really gone. It all happened so fast. I know while I was caring for her the last few weeks of her life it seemed like everything was in slow motion. I was wondering why God was allowing her to so slowly deteriorate. Now it all seems like it happened at warp speed. Now I find myself wishing we had more time - even if it meant her still being sick - time to talk, and laugh, and watch the grandkids, and prepare for the weddings.....time just to be together. But then, on the rational side, I'm thankful for the mercy of God that she didn't have to suffer too long. I just miss her so deeply - there's an ache and an emptiness that's just hard to fathom. And thru it all, I know God is faithful to see my family and I through.
In His Arm's,
Pat
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Jesus shines in and through you brightly. You are loved and in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteSarah
We continue to pray for your healing as you walk through this grieving process. Your brother and sister in Christ.
ReplyDeletePastor,
ReplyDeleteThe gieving process stinks. There is no "right words" or phrase that will make it any easier, any quicker or any less painful. You are a strong man with a stronger faith and a congregation that loves you with all their collective hearts. I think about and pray for you all the time and have for years now as have countless others. God is faithful and true and you are living proof of it. He will never leave you and neither will we.
I hope somehow this song can bring you the tears and hope that it brought to me my dear big brother in Christ Jesus! I cannot wait to see what beauty He brings out of all this suffering! I know right now it just seems to be unending. I wish we could hold your heart for you and protect it from this pain for just a while.
ReplyDeleteNicol Sponberg
RESURRECTION
Verse 1
I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold
Where did the passion go?
Verse 2
When all my efforts seem like chasing the wind
I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give
I've lost the feeling and I'm numb to the core
I can't fake it anymore
Chorus
Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again
Verse 3
You speak and all creation falls to its knees
You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering
Chorus
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering
Chorus
My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. Psalm 119:50
ReplyDeleteThe rain of tears will come and go, but there are brighter days ahead.
ReplyDeleteAs you live each day anew, the Sun will begin to shine brighter. The clouds overshadowing your life will lift. 'The empty feeling' that is hard to fathom will not leave you completely, but it will get better. God is molding you and you will have a better perpective of 'life and death'.
Continuing in my thoughts and prayers.
Isabelle
Hello Pat
ReplyDeleteHave been thinking about you and praying for you almost constantly. You are and have always been a tremendous example to me. Thank you, Tony Kordakis
Good morning Pat,
ReplyDeleteI am not working today and got on to your blog this morning and read your last couple of entries. So many of your emotions and feelings are mirror images of my own. Those last 18 days of Joyce's life on earth seemed like months and now I think back at those nights that I sat with her and she kept trying to get up and move and I feel like I would selfishly give anything to have that time back. Just to talk to her and hear the funny things she would say and see her sweet smile and to kiss her cheek and tell her how much I love her.
My friend from church, Suzanne, gave me a devotional from Daily Disciples which I wanted to share with you. It spoke of the word hope and how in the Bible the word "trust" is used as part of the meaning of hope. I "trust" in God to see us through this tremendous loss because of our faith in Him and his loving devotion to his children who believe in Him. In 2 Corinthians 4:17,18 Paul writes "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
My prayer is that each day we grieve will bring us closer to the gratitude for having Joyce in our lives and a lifetime of beautiful pictures in our minds of our time with her. My "trust" in God is that he has a path that he will lay before us which will bring peace, comfort and fulfillment for his purpose. I "trust" that he has a great plan for this next part of your life.
I think I have left a rather long "comment" but wanted to let you know my family thinks of you with great love and I feel so blessed that you were the man that God entrusted my sister's life to. I could not have even imagined anyone more deserving of her love.
The kids and I are going to visit my Mom and Dad today. I know they too are grieving at the loss of their precious child. We will try to give them some smiles for today.
Blessing to you,
Nancy
Hi Pat,
ReplyDeleteThis all must seem so surreal to you. My heart greives with you & your kids. Joyce was a Godly woman. You are not alone in missing her. There are really no words to say that will bring comfort, but just to know we have compassion on you and feel the loss along side you.
May God really comfort you in those lonely times.
I know you don't know me, but I am a fellow Kenney, I am praying for you, as I am the rest of our extended family, all those Kenneys out there... God Bless You
ReplyDeleteNo one can miss Joyce like you do. I can not imagine the day that God calls my treasured wife home. But I know that it will happen. It happens to everyone. That's the way it works here in this fallen world. Our only hope, as you know, is in Jesus Christ. In losing loved ones in the past, I know that things will improve with time. From time to time, especially at first, you will be amazed at the little things that will remind you of Joyce. They will be emotional experiences. As times goes on, they become less emotional. Eventually, they become enjoyable reminders of your wonderful wife. I look forward toward the time this will be true for you.
ReplyDelete