Of immediate note is of course the ongoing crisis in Japan. Our hearts ache for the countless families now dealing with loss and change far beyond anything they ever imagined. We humbly ask the Lord to strengthen the believers there and use them to bring consolation, comfort, and the Gospel to so many gripped with dismay, hopelessness, and fear. Yet as I think about what's happening in Japan, I realize I'm dealing with some real fear myself. I've watched the media coverage of many a calamity over the years but always from a sort of detached safe distance. Not so today. I may safe in San Diego but I'm certainly not detached.
Shortly after the earthquake and Tsunami devastated Northern Japan, the Navy ship my beautiful wife serves on was diverted to Japan to assist with rescue and recovery. Yesterday the media reported that several airmen attached to a helicopter wing returned to the ship with low level radiation exposure. The ship (the Ronald Reagan nuclear powered aircraft carrier) was quickly repositioned away from the danger area. I talked to Pam this afternoon and she said she was fine but sounded quite busy.
Am I concerned for her safety and health - of course! Am I trusting God that she and her fellow sailors will be OK? Yes - but once again, a crisis reveals my fears. I realize that Pam isn't kicking' back on a pleasure cruise but working hard on the most powerful warship ever. I knew that in my head but seeing and hearing reports about the deteriorating condition of the Fukushima nuclear plants causes my heart to tremble and my mind to worry. I find myself giving in to fear. Fear for her well being, fear that something worse may happen...and yes, even fear that I will loose her too. Yet fear can only be answered with faith. If I've learned anything thru my own personal losses, disappointments, and transitions over the past few years, I have learned that God is faithful and I must trust in Him alone.
Psalm 73:25-26 says, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My heart and flesh may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
How blessed we are to have God's Word to comfort our hearts and refocus our thinking! What power and peace there is to trust in the Lord and not depend upon my - or anyone elses understanding. Only as I submit all my ways to Him and acknowledge His power over all - only then can I walk in His peace that passes all understanding. So I must rest in Him. 40 days into Pam's deployment with 177 days, 12 hours and 45 minutes till she returns home; yes I think God is stretching my faith once again!
I'd like to share one other thing God has been showing me these past few weeks. As I shared in my update last month, I was asked to be a part of the teaching team at the Philippines Calvary Chapel Pastor's Conference the first week in April. This past year Shepherd's Staff began serving several missionaries already in the Philippines so I saw this as a great opportunity to visit and encourage many of them one on one. There was also the possibility that I might be able to meet Pam somewhere near the Philippines a week after the conference. So I accepted and began booking my flight arrangements.
Then the fears began. I began to think, "What the heck are you doing, Pat??" "You're planning an 20 day trip that is sure to tax you physically and with all your medical issues you could really get messed up!" So I had several appointments with my doctors who checked me over, gave me meds and inoculations and vaccines - and medically I was good to go. But the fears remained and even grew stronger. I began to agree with the 'voices' and felt that there was no way I'd be able to handle the heat and humidity and dirt and bugs and food and sleeping conditions and and and....
.....and then it came to me! A revelation! A lightning bolt thru my clouded thinking! What about God??? Is He able to sustain, bless and use you even in the Philippines? I felt a big "Duh!" I realized I had not even ASKED Him to help me. My fears and worries were dominating me and I was walking in the strength of my flesh and not by the strength of His Spirit. So I began to call upon Him! I began to ask Him to strengthen my heart and straighten out my thinking.
And almost overnight I began to relax and get excited for what God might want to do. Instead of worrying about ME I began praying for those I would be visiting. You'd think I'd know this after all these years - but as I've often said, "The flesh has short term memory!" You mortify the flesh today and tomorrow it rises up again - oblivious to the beating it took the day before.
Perhaps that's why Paul the Apostle said, "I die daily" (1 Cor. 15:31)
So please pray for this conference: for the pastor's, pastor's wives, and other church leaders who will be attending. Pray for their safe travel to Dumaguete. Pray for my study in Eph. 5:22-33. Pray for Pastor Bong and Calvary Chapel Cebu where I will be teaching the Sunday after the conference. And please pray, if it's God's will, that He might keep Pam safe from harm and that I might see her for a few days before returning back to the states in mid April.
In His Arm's,
Pat
