Oblique

Those of you who have endured debilitating illness or injury know how "forever" the season seems in which you are not in good health or in reasonably full strength. When pain increases and sustains you wonder if you'll ever be 'normal' again. In most cases, the body does heal, but often not at the pace you would like. And the older one gets the longer the healing process takes.

I often forget what I've been thru and just expect that today I'm gonna feel a lot better and the worst is behind me. The result of that 'forgetfulness' is an assumption that I can do all that I used to do, at the pace I used to do it without consequences. One would think that after suffering the horrible 4 year battle of my wife's cancer and then losing her that emotionally I might be a mess - for a long while.

One might also surmise that my own medical challenges of six hospitalizations and four major abdominal surgeries in less than two years might seriously impact my physical and mental stamina. Then another might conclude that after moving on from my pastoral position of 27 years serving the same church and people I loved that I might be facing a serious identity crisis.

Add to that, pushing 60 years of age and now discovering I have a severe transverse oblique muscle strain/inflammation on my lower right side that may have some tearing as it transitions into my abdominal tendons causing severe stabbing pain with minimal exertion - and you might conclude that I'm a total basket case and just ready for the Lord to take me home! 

All the above are reasonable assumptions - and at times I have felt everyone of them - sometimes all of them at once - and it's not a pleasant place. As most of you know who have been following this blog I have often shared just what I was dealing with... and you all have been so faithful to pray and encourage and not write me off as a confused and depressed whiner. Thank you :-)

Going home to be with the Lord and all the brethren that have gone before will surely be beyond ecstasy! But the fact and reality is - it's not over - in fact, it's likely far from over, I will recover from all this and life will go on, richer, deeper, and humbler than ever before. A dear friend shared these verses with me a couple of days ago:

Ps 27:13-14 "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!"

Ps. 40:1-5 comes to mind as well. Look it up - it's a good one!

So all this to say that I, and all my brothers and sisters who may be hurting from one crisis or another, need to look up and see the goodness of the Lord in the midst of their fog of pain and discouragement. He is still Lord, not just in the sweet by and by but in our very stark and real land of the living.

I do have an appt. with my surgeon's office this Monday evening. Please pray for them - that they might effectively guide me thru what's necessary to heal up from this muscle injury (and the previous surgeries). And pray that in the meantime, in the process of healing, I not lose heart but see the goodness of the Lord thru it all. Pray also that I have the courage and humility to heed the direction given and take the time needed to heal properly.

In His Arm's,

Pat

From Phoenix

Hi Folks!

Heading back to Esco from the Phoenix area where I joined several guys from church and their boys for a few days of spring training baseball and some rest. Unfortunately, I was battling a lot of pain from my last surgery (which was 2 months ago) and wasn't able to be my usual crazy self at the Padres spring training complex :-) The usual quota of baseballs I get (balls hit out of the practice fields) is about 30 for 3 days - I only got 10 - operating at only 1/3 my potential :-0!

I was able to meet with the pastor of several of our Shepherd's Staff missionaries (in China and the Ukraine) and enjoyed hanging out a bit with Pastors Jeff and Rick Jackson. So now it's back home, another doctor's appointment and hopefully get a handle on the ab pain. as always, I deeply value your prayer!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Home again

Made it home safely from my visit to the central coast. Got to meet and hang out with some great folks from Santa Maria, Morro Bay, and Lompoc. Also was blessed to spend some good time with one of our newest missionaries getting ready to begin a new work with children in Pedregales, MX. Meagan Webster - pray for her if you would. she's heading out in 3 weeks and still could use use more support.

This evening (Wed.) I taught the midweek service at Calvary Chapel Living Hope and was totally blessed. I haven't been able to do much pulpit ministry since last December. Met a gal praying about becoming a missionary to Israel and possibly going thru Shepherd's Staff. 

The teaching time at CCLH was pain free! And tho I was sore afterward, I was so glad to have felt almost normal while teaching for a full hour. Thanks Lord!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Santa Maria 2

After the morning services at Calvary Santa Maria, I drove about 20 minutes north to Pismo Beach and went for a nice walk. As you can see it was a beautiful afternoon. Interestingly, this was the place, in 1972, on an outreach trip with Joyce and a team from Christian Chapel Walnut, that I knew I wanted her to be my wife. A bittersweet memory.

Some of you were asking in emails and on FB about how Jeff Jackson was doing - so here he is

just as deep and as funny as ever! Love that guy!

So it was a good conference - small attendance wise but edifying for me and a good learning experience in preparing for, setting up, and engaging folks in conversation about the ministry.

Monday I drive up to Morro Bay to have lunch with a couple of the pastors there - and then pack up for the long drive back home.

God continues to show Himself strong and gracious on my behalf and I'm humbled He would allow me to serve these wonderful men and women who have committed their lives to making our good God known to the nations!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Santa Maria

Made it safely to Santa Maria on Friday for a Missions Conference hosted by the Central Coast Calvary Chapels at CC Santa Maria. Pastor Jeff Jackson is the main speaker/teacher for the event and I am representing Shepherd's Staff. The drive up from Escondido took about 5 hours. I was pretty sore by the end of the day but grateful to be here. Details to follow.

Blessings, Pat

God's ways

It's been an interesting week, thus far. As you know from my Sunday post, I did not make it to the conference in Tucson. Due to the loss of my driver's license, I would not have been able to rent a car. Then Monday and Tuesday the pain from my surgery flared up big time and Tues. I had to see a doc at Kaiser. X-rays were taken and the good news was that there was no evidence of any blockages or surgical left overs! No evidence of any muscle tears! But no diagnosis for what was causing all the pain - except that pesky scar tissue. Well, today the pain was almost non-existent and all I can deduce is that the Lord just wanted me to stay put because He knew my going to Tucson would be more than my body could handle. So He hid my license.

Yesterday I went to the DMV and got a new one and this afternoon the Honda dealership called and said they had my license!!! My lease was up and I decided to purchase my Accord and did the deal there last Monday. My car lady found my D/L on her copy machine (she'd been out of her office for several days and mine was her last transaction). She was very apologetic and I told her it was OK - that it was a God thing! God knew I wasn't going to be feeling well and stubbornly would have flown to Tucson anyway - so He had her forget to give me my license back to stop me in my tracks. She thought I was just being kind to her - but I really felt it was God so no need to get upset with her.

And so God's ways are sure higher than my ways. Now I'm preparing to head up to the missions conference for the Central Coast Calvary's on Friday. Will it happen??? God willing I'll be going, but I'm not throwing around that "God willing" part. I really am utterly dependent on His "willingness" to have me go. And if He doesn't, please pray I don't have to be knocked in the head to get it! Stay tuned :-)

In His Arm's,

Pat

My Plans - His Plans

Prov. 16:9 says, "A man's heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps." Or, as a refrigerator magnet I have says, "Man plans - God laughs!"

My plan was to fly to Tucson tomorrow to rep Shepherd's Staff at the SW Pastor's and Leaders conference. The fly in the ointment was that for the first time in over 20 years, I lost my drivers license this past week! Without the actual license I couldn't rent a vehicle - which was a must for all the back and forth meetings I was hoping to have. My passport alone was good for the flights but then I'd be stuck. Option B was to drive out, but the 7 hour drive would just be too much for my still hurting abs and lower back. My director at Shep Staff recommended I just focus on the Santa Maria conference this coming weekend.

Well I asked you guys to pray - and this is what I get??!?? :-) just kidding. I have a peace now about it but yesterday I was not a happy camper. God knows what I can and can't handle right now and so I have to adjust my steps to His directing.

So the DMV tomorrow and a call to my doc to check why the pain in my side and back seems to be getting worse. Perhaps it's a thorn in my flesh of some kind and for some purpose I, at the moment, don't quite understand.

I'll keep you posted.

BTW I did teach the missions class up at Refuge Calvary in Huntington Beach this evening and it was a real blessing. A whole bunch of folks with a heart for missions there. Some that are going out to the field and others who feel called to serve as senders. I taught on the components of a missionaries' care/support team. They are in the middle of a 9 week training called, "Get up and Go!"  And thanks Pastor Bill for the coffee and fellowship before the meeting!

Hope you all have blessed and fruitful week serving your wonderful King!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Schedule

Hi Folks!

Sure would appreciate your prayer for my upcoming schedule. Except for one area of nagging pain I'm feeling pretty good and preparing for a busy next couple of weeks.

Starting this Sunday evening I'll be teaching a class on the functioning of a missionary's care and support team at Refuge Calvary Chapel in Huntington Beach.

Then Monday morning I fly out to Tucson, AZ to represent Shepherd's Staff at the SW Calvary Chapel Pastor's/Leader's conference. Home on Wednesday 3/11

Friday morning, 3/13, I drive up to Santa Maria for a weekend Mission's Conference for the Central Coast Calvary's. Pastor Jeff Jackson will be the keynote speaker and I'll be representing Shepherd's Staff.

Monday 3/16 I'm meeting with the pastor and mission's pastor of Shoreline Calvary in Morro Bay, then home Tuesday evening.

Wednesday 3/18 teaching the midweek study at Calvary Chapel Living Hope in Oceanside.

So I would really appreciate your prayer support over the next couple of weeks.

Also, someone posted a comment on my last entry asking if I've thought about hosting/teaching a weekly home fellowship. The answer is yes, but as you can see from the above, my schedule can involve being away from Escondido a lot, health permitting. I'm thinking about hosting a monthly prayer meeting for the missionaries and support teams I serve. The first one may be in April. I'll post the date and time when it's set.

May each of you be filled afresh with His Spirit and overflowing with His Love!

In His Arm's,

Pat