Thanks are in order again for all the encouraging comments and emails! Yesterday was three weeks since Joyce passed and it was a difficult day. You folks are like lights on a dark street! Just a little update on my medical stuff; got the barrium e. test scheduled for this Monday morning and the followup with my surgeon the next Monday. By then I should have a pretty good idea about what course to take with my colon problems. Resection surgery of the colon is the most likely scenario but there may be other options - we'll see.
Also, I was able to set a couple of appts. next week to begin some bereavement/grief counseling - need to get started on that because I don't counsel myself very well :-) - at least not in these areas.
Hope you all have a safe and blessed weekend.
In His Arm's,
Pat
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I can hardly believe it has been 3 weeks since Joyce's passing. It is good that you are making time to attend bereavement/grief counseling sessions, and reconizing your need for them. Continuing to pray that the doctors will be able to take care of your problem in a proper way. Continue to keep us all informed. I missed the Sunday you spoke as I had to visit an inmate at Donovan Prison.
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my thoughts and prayers. I can see some positive changes and things will get better. It takes time. Keep looking for that silver lining. It is behind that cloud that overshadows you.
God Bless you dear Pastor Pat.
Isabelle
Psalms 27:14 "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"
ReplyDeleteWe (Wayne and I) are glad you are seeking bereavement/grief counseling. There is so much to process through - we know that God will be there to strengthen your heart through this all.
The above verse was my 2AM verse as I struggled through my own grief - don't know why it always seemed to be around 2AM. :-) I decided I could either get up and feel bad, or get up and study God's Word - - so I used to make peanut butter cookies, coffee, and study. . . . alot! I hope this verse gives you comfort and helps you too.
God has gifted you as a senior pastor. What a blessing! There is still so much work to be done . . . By taking these steps now, you will be able to continue to live your life operating in your gift tomorrow. Your gift as a senior pastor helped me as I raised teenagers years ago - it is a great gift indeed because the results ripple out generationally! And you will always carry your Joyce in your heart because you were one. She is a part of you.
I am sorry for your sadness and your sorrow, but thankful you are taking steps.
Prov. 1:2-4 "To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding, To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity; . . . "
We pray that you are given an extra measure of wisdom, discernment, understanding, and sound judgement as you walk through this year - and in the years to come.
In Him,
Linda Doyle Fravel
Hi Pat,
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your blog. I know it must be so hard at times to write it. You are always in our thoughts and with our being out of state it helps us stay in touch and know how to pray for you and your family. We love you lots and as with so many people who love you we continue to hold you up in prayer through out the day.
In His Arms,
The Poudrier's
My dear Pastor Pat,
ReplyDeleteYes - time passes so much quicker than we realize. Our time in this world is short and precious.
I thank you for sharing this most intimate time in your life with us. I hope you keep your writings. You will use them over and over again to help you in the future in so many areas.
God's love and wisdom is so far from our understanding but it is perfect! He is with you through this journey. I pray you can turn to him in everything.
I'm sad for your pain and that of your family, but I do want to offer what I hope is a little comfort for each day. As I read over your postings, I am reminded of when I lost my daughter Athena back in 1998...I came to you after several months and told you I had this numbness and emptiness in my heart - no emotion - just an empty heart and I didn't want to stay like this because it felt like it would last my lifetime. Your loving words to me were "I know it's hard right now, but the Lord is with you, holding you and walking through this with you. With the passing of time, you will heal!" I pray you can believe and feel your own words now. Yes - the emptiness and aching - there are really no words to describe. Time, faith and love seem to be the only thing that gets us through.
Your faith and knowledge has always amazed me...but I say these words back to you because I've lived them for so many years...it DID take time to heal my heart. For over four years I ached every single day with such an emptiness and pain that at times felt unbareable.
It seems like forever and then one day you realize you can say her name without choking on your own tears. Then after a little while longer, you can look at a picture or hug an item that belonged to her without falling on your knees in pain. Then one day you look back and say - wow...it's been nine years. It feels like yesterday but the sadness has turned to joy of her memory. The tears to laughter at her special little ways. And you find that your heart is light and you can feel love again.
I still think of my daughter daily and often I miss her smiling face. But the only time I feel sadness is in the things I wish I had done differently for her - and that I know is just the enemy.
In time, I was able to give some of her things away to her siblings and able to thank God for taking her to a much better place. She has over come this world...I watched her give her life over to the Lord just two years before she was gone. What a gift that was. Her memory now brings laughter and joy to our family.
I know you are thankful for the time you were blessed to have her in your lives and I know one day your hearts will find the ability to smile, then to laugh and again to love. Until then I pray joy and healing for you and your family.
With much hope and thankfulness,
your sister in Christ, Lori Monroe.