Oblique

Those of you who have endured debilitating illness or injury know how "forever" the season seems in which you are not in good health or in reasonably full strength. When pain increases and sustains you wonder if you'll ever be 'normal' again. In most cases, the body does heal, but often not at the pace you would like. And the older one gets the longer the healing process takes.

I often forget what I've been thru and just expect that today I'm gonna feel a lot better and the worst is behind me. The result of that 'forgetfulness' is an assumption that I can do all that I used to do, at the pace I used to do it without consequences. One would think that after suffering the horrible 4 year battle of my wife's cancer and then losing her that emotionally I might be a mess - for a long while.

One might also surmise that my own medical challenges of six hospitalizations and four major abdominal surgeries in less than two years might seriously impact my physical and mental stamina. Then another might conclude that after moving on from my pastoral position of 27 years serving the same church and people I loved that I might be facing a serious identity crisis.

Add to that, pushing 60 years of age and now discovering I have a severe transverse oblique muscle strain/inflammation on my lower right side that may have some tearing as it transitions into my abdominal tendons causing severe stabbing pain with minimal exertion - and you might conclude that I'm a total basket case and just ready for the Lord to take me home! 

All the above are reasonable assumptions - and at times I have felt everyone of them - sometimes all of them at once - and it's not a pleasant place. As most of you know who have been following this blog I have often shared just what I was dealing with... and you all have been so faithful to pray and encourage and not write me off as a confused and depressed whiner. Thank you :-)

Going home to be with the Lord and all the brethren that have gone before will surely be beyond ecstasy! But the fact and reality is - it's not over - in fact, it's likely far from over, I will recover from all this and life will go on, richer, deeper, and humbler than ever before. A dear friend shared these verses with me a couple of days ago:

Ps 27:13-14 "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!"

Ps. 40:1-5 comes to mind as well. Look it up - it's a good one!

So all this to say that I, and all my brothers and sisters who may be hurting from one crisis or another, need to look up and see the goodness of the Lord in the midst of their fog of pain and discouragement. He is still Lord, not just in the sweet by and by but in our very stark and real land of the living.

I do have an appt. with my surgeon's office this Monday evening. Please pray for them - that they might effectively guide me thru what's necessary to heal up from this muscle injury (and the previous surgeries). And pray that in the meantime, in the process of healing, I not lose heart but see the goodness of the Lord thru it all. Pray also that I have the courage and humility to heed the direction given and take the time needed to heal properly.

In His Arm's,

Pat