Recovering

Two weeks ago today I was operated on to repair a pretty messed up colon and a few other things. The recovery has been tedious. I thought I'ld bounce back real quick but those with a little more wisdom kept telling me this surgery can knock you down for a while. I am feeling a lot less pain but the overall weakness caught me a little by surprise. And it's not just physical - it's mental too. I'm sure my brain has taken a pretty good hit with the trauma of the surgery, the heavy pain meds used in the hospital and the stuff I'm taking at home has kept my ability to concentrate in a fog. It's been difficult to read or study or even watch TV (which is probably a good thing!) Spiritually I've had some good conversations with the Lord and felt ministered to by His spirit. I've never been in this place before where I am somewhat incapacitated and home alone most of the time. It's been comforting to know the Lord is with me all the time. 

So I try to exercise patience and just let the process of healing take its course. I hope to be off my pain meds during the day very soon so I can run a few errands using my car. I haven't driven in over two weeks. I'm also hoping to be at church this Sunday so I can personally thank so many of you who have been praying for me thru this crazy season. I won't be teaching for a little while yet but I pray soon.

In His Arm's, Pat

Thanksgiving

In seasons of grief one must navigate the holidays - can't ignore them, just have to face them and create some new memories. God has His ways of going before us as we face these events. He did so for me yesterday. I celebrated Thanksgiving with my daughter and new son in law at home. Having just gotten home from 6 days in the hospital and still in a lot of discomfort, I was unable to attend our usual large family gathering at one of the relatives home and I think the quietness helped helped me deal with both the pain of surgery and my wife not being here. In a way, going thru this surgery has softened the ache of missing my beloved Joyce. Having to deal with my own physical issues sort of balanced my emotions and I was able to get thru the day and enjoy it as well.

Even in loss we all have so much to be thankful for. I am keenly aware of how blessed I am. To have family who love an care for each other is a priceless gift. To have friends and coworkers who are so thoughtful and understanding is also a treasure not to be taken for granted. To have a church family and a living relationship with the One, True, Living God really ties life together! In Everything give thanks!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Home

Just a short update. My surgery went well but was a bit more involved than I had hoped for. I was hospitalized for 6 days. My surgeon removed a much larger section of my colon as well as my appendix. I also had to have a colostomy bag (where a portion of my intestine is brought thru an opening in the abdominal wall (called a stoma) and a bag is attached to collect waste material. I'll have to wear the bag for about three more months, then another surgery to reconnect the remaining portions of my colon after they've had a chance to heal up.

I got home yesterday evening (Monday) and friends and family have been looking out for me - I'm so glad to be home again. As much as I appreciate the care I received in the hospital it was definitely not a quiet place to rest. So I'm catching up now at home. My sister-in law Nancy was with me everyday as was my daughter Noelle the first three days of my stay. My friend Dr. Nick also was there nearly every day and were an immense help.

So for the next couple of weeks it's healing time and learning to use the bag. Then 2 or 3 months from now I will have to go in for another surgery to reconnect my colon, close up the stoma and get rid of the bag. So the beat goes on. It was a lot harder then I expected but God has held me and ministered to my heart thru it all.

I'll try to be a bit more regular now that I'm home. Sure appreciate so many of your cards and letters and calls. Keep growing in your trust in the Lord.

In His arm's,

Pat

Noelle's Wedding

What a crazy beautiful blessed weekend! Noelle and Paul's wedding was absolutely wonderful and the weather at the coast on Monday couldn't have been greater in the middle of summer let alone the middle of November. The ceremony was held at 1:00 in the afternoon on the patio of Cannon's overlooking the Dana Point harbor - very close to the same spot I proposed to Joyce about 35 years ago! Pastor Mark officiated and I, of course, walked my daughter down the aisle. I wore Joyce's wedding ring on my little finger.

When Mark asked, "Who gives this woman in marriage?" I responded, "Her mom in heaven,  all her family and I!" About a half hour later they were the new Mr. and Mrs. Paul Berry.

The granddaughters were a hoot as well, all dressed in little sailor outfits.

Today I'm prepping for tomorrow's surgery at Kaiser Zion in SD. Got to be there at 6:30am. and the surgery is scheduled for 9:45. Could be in the hospital for 3 or 4 days and then a week or two at home healing up. I'll post as soon as I'm able after the surgery - sorry no pictures :-)

In His Arm's,

Pat

Getting Ready

Well this week has been a blur. And the weekend ahead is sure to race. This afternoon we have Noelle and Paul's wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner following. I'll be meeting Paul's family from England for the first time. Then early tomorrow morning I see my surgeon for my pre-op appointment. The rest of the day will be filled with last minute organizing for the wedding. Sunday afternoon we head up to Dana Point and get settled for the ceremony which takes place at 1pm. on Monday afternoon.

Monday is also the day I need to begin my diet prep for my surgery which is still scheduled for Wednesday barring fire, earthquake, flood, or terrorist attack. Yes, I'm a little nervous. I miss my wife's calm spirit. My emotions are struggling to stay even. I'm so happy for my daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law yet I'm so sad Joyce isn't here to enjoy it. I believe in some way that she will still be a part of this blessed day. I know the Lord will be there because a bunch of believers will be gathered - and I know Joyce is where the Lord is.

I'm not afraid of the surgery but I just can't think past it. It's a little like my wife's battle with cancer. As she was declining I knew her passing was coming but I could not imagine anything beyond that. Yet here we are, four months later and life has continued - tho much of that time I have felt in limbo. I knew a week after Joyce died that I needed to have this surgery - and waited nearly three months to have it scheduled - and then the fires and the rescheduling.

I'm looking forward to a season where I'm not anticipating another major trauma for a little while! Thanks for your continued prayer!

In His Arm's,

Pat

Harvest Pics

Had to post a pic of the grandkids from the Harvest Celebration!

4 months

Hi Folks!

About two weeks ago while I was in Phoenix, I had written a few things that I hadn't posted yet. The blog post was titled "Purpose" from 10-21. I just posted it this morning.

Today is Nov. 5 and it's been 4 months since Joyce passed and in some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. Time seems to stop and I find myself numb and staring at pictures of her in disbelief that she's not here - in disbelief that she suffered so much for so long and then was gone. I think I'm moving on - and most of the time now I am - but there are still those moments, occasionally whole days, where I'm just overwhelmed with all that's happened. Yet I know life goes on anyway and many good things are also happening. My son and his wife just moved into a new home up in Menifee over the weekend - I helped him move (and I'm paying for it today :-)

My daughter is to be wed a week from today in Dana Point. Lot's of family things coming up this week. Then my surgery on the 14th. I'm eager to get back to pastoring and teaching as God would allow me - I know these things are in His hands - still having to learn patience!

In His Arm's,

Pat